Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guests - TOM WAITS and EDWARD HOPPER

Tom Waits released ‘Nighthawks at the Diner' in 1975. 
The title was inspired by the 1942 Edward Hopper painting, Nighthawks, which depicted a late-night diner in Greenwich Village.

Instead of the male server in the Hopper painting, Waits gives us a tired and over made-up waitress who will deliver the food with a word or two of affection for her regular diners and the newcomers alike. All seem connected by their shared situation, just as the space between the four figures in the Hopper picture is insignificant.

How good it would be to unite them at Zelda's and use the menu items from the album track Eggs and Sausage. You won't need them all - it will make far too much to eat; just choose what you like best. 

Nighthawks at the diner
Of Emma's 49er, there's a rendezvous
Of strangers around the coffee urn tonight;
All the gypsy hacks, the insomniacs.
Now the paper's been read,
Now the waitress said:
‘Eggs and sausage and a side of toast,
Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy,
Chilli in a bowl with burgers and fries.
What kind of pie?’

Recipes for some items on the menu can be found elsewhere...
For Chilli in a Bowl, see Zelda's version of Johnny Cash's Chilli.

And, if you want (Vegetarian) Burgers and Fries, try this, made for Jules Winnfield.

So Zelda has concentrated on making vegetarian versions of the other items on the menu. Multiply or divide amounts as needed.

EGGS AND (VEGGIE) SAUSAGE AND A SIDE OF TOAST

1tbsp oil
2 vegetarian sausages, defrosted if frozen
2 free range eggs
1 slice bread
butter

Heat 1tbsp oil in a large pan (or on a griddle).
Cook the sausages until brown on one side.
Add the eggs and fry to your preference. 

Serve with the toast (surely no instruction needed!)

COFFEE AND A ROLL

I have been reliably informed that these are the type served in American diners. I adapted the recipe from one in this lovely book:

SWEET CINNAMON ROLLS

Start by making the dough:

250g strong white flour

1tsp dried yeast

pinch of salt

15g brown sugar

1tsp caster sugar

2 drops vanilla extract

100ml lukewarm milk

25g butter, melted

1 egg, whisked

Mix the flour, yeast, salt, sugars and vanilla in a bowl.

Add the butter, egg and milk. Stir all together and then knead on a floured surface. Place back in the bowl. 

Cover and leave for about 1½ hours until doubled in size.

When the dough has risen, prepare the filling:

50g butter, melted

30g sugar

2tsp cinnamon

pinch of nutmeg

Mix the sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon.

On a floured surface, roll the dough into a rectangle.

Brush the surface with the melted butter.

Sprinkle over the sugar mixture.

Staring from the long side, roll up the dough.

Then cut slices, about 2½cm thick.

Place on their sides on a baking tray. Cover with cling film and leave for 30 minutes.

Brush with a little milk and then cook at Gas 5/ 375F°/ 190°C for about 25 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare the topping:

70g icing sugar

70g cream cheese

15ml milk

Combine all ingredients to make a smooth, liquid frosting.

When the rolls are cooked, spoon the frosting over the top and allow to run.

Serve warm (with coffee).

HASH BROWNS (OVER EASY)
(Over easy is a term more commonly used to determine how people like their eggs. It instructs the cook to them turn over, so I am guessing that Tom likes his hash browns cooked on both sides. But don't we all?)

Makes about 18

300g potatoes
salt and black pepper
1 pinch paprika
oil or butter for cooking (I used sunflower oil)

Peel the potatoes and then grate into a bowl. Cover with cold water and stir. 

When the water becomes cloudy, drain and replace with clean. Drain the potatoes and then remove as much excess liquid as you can. Place in a clean tea towel and squeeze. Place over an empty bowl for 20 minutes, then squeeze again. 

Season with salt, pepper and paprika.

Heat oil in a large pan (in the absence of a large stove or griddle as you would find in a diner).
Place lumps of potato in the pan and press down with a slice.

Cook for 3-4 minutes to allow the bottoms to brown, then flip. Continue to cook on other side and flip again if needed. 

(N.B. This was all new to me. When first I tried this meal, I made the mistake of making what are labelled as 'hash browns' on a British menu; adding onion, flour and egg to the potato. I was, therefore, glad that my American friend, Greg of Recipes for Rebels, put me right, but sceptical that the potato would work on its own without a binding agent. I now know that the secret is just to take time and not rush them. Eventually, the separate strands of potato sort of 'make friends' and join together.)

And finally, "What kind of pie?"
From searching 'Diner Pie' online, it seems that an American-style Apple Pie will fit the bill nicely.

APPLE PIE 

500g dessert pastry

3 cooking apples.

2tbsp lemon juice

150g sugar + an additional tbsp

2tbsp plain flour + extra for rolling

2tbsp cornflour

1tsp nutmeg

1tsp cinnamon

60ml apple juice

1 egg

Divide the pastry. 

Retain 1/3 and roll out the other 2/3 on a lightly floured surface.

Lightly butter a pie dish and then line with the pastry. It doesn’t have to be neat, but make sure it overlaps the sides. 

Then chill while you prepare the filling.

Peel, core and slice the apples. Place in a bowl and add the lemon juice.

In another bowl, mix the sugar, flours and spices. 

Add to the apple and stir until all the pieces are coated. 

Boil the apple juice and pour this over, mixing all together.

Divide the rest of the pastry into sections. Roll each one out into rough rectangles so that you can cut strips. Make them of equal width rather than of equal size.

Take the pastry dish out of the fridge and fill with the apple mixture.

Place pastry strips over the top. 

Trim the ends and crimp the edges with a fork.

Whisk the egg with 1tbsp of water and brush over the top of all the pastry. Sprinkle over the remaining sugar.

Cook in oven at 190°C/ 375°F/ Gas 5 for about 50 minutes.

Allow to cool.

Then cut into slices.

So, if you find yourself alone, on a late night out, come to Zelda's Diner. 

Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guest - MAE WEST

Well, it's the start of January and everyone is talking about giving up this and giving up that.
So, for a bit of fun, Zelda would like to invite Mae West for dinner.
She had a career which spanned seven decades, acting, singing, joking and writing. Her slightly bawdy double-entrendes are still repeated today, and she also famously said: I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

Hopefully, this indulgent recipe would please her, even though it contains carrots (not carats)!

CARROT CAKE   (makes 2)

First make the sponge:

225g wholemeal self-raising flour
225g white plain flour
225g brown sugar
1tsp bicarbonate of soda
2tsp cinnamon
2tsp nutmeg
200ml sunflower oil
4 eggs
100ml sour cream
4 carrots, peeled and grated

Sift the flours, soda, cinnamon and nutmeg into a large bowl.

Add the brown sugar and oil. Mix well.
Whisk the eggs and the sour cream. 

Add to the flour mixture and mix until smooth.

Add the carrot and combine all together.

Pour the mixture into two greased and lined loaf tins.

Bake at Gas 4/ 180°C/ 350°F for 45 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the frosting:

60g cream cheese
30g butter, softened
160g icing sugar
zest of 1 lemon

Mix the butter with the cream cheese and lemon zest.
Gradually beat in the icing sugar until smooth. 

When the cake is cooked, allow to stand for a few minutes.

Then turn out onto a wire rack and allow to cool.
Cut top off if needed to make an even size.
Coat with the frosting.

RED CABBAGE AND ORANGE SALAD

RED CABBAGE AND ORANGE SALAD

100g red cabbage, shredded finely

2 medium carrots, peeled and chopped into fine matchsticks.

3 small oranges, peeled and segmented

½ cucumber

1tsp dried chilli flakes

1tbsp olive oil

1tbsp red wine vinegar

50g bistro leaves (lamb’s lettuce etc.)

handful of coriander leaves

This salad was inspired by a recipe from my new cookery book Jamie Cooks Italy. It was a last-minute way to use up the red cabbage we had left over from the Red Cabbage with Apple, so just used the ingredients I had to hand. It was still delicious. 

Place the oranges in the bottom of a bowl.

Pour over the oil and vinegar and sprinkle with most of the chilli flakes.

Mix the red cabbage and the carrot.

Use a peeler to cut slices from the skin of the cucumber, then cut in half lengthways. Use a spoon to scrape out all the seeds and pulp from the middle. Then cut the flesh into slices.

Add this to the salad, along with the leaves and coriander.

Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guest - JEM MERLYN

Yes, Zelda does seem to invite a lot of  'bad boys' to the table; and here's another one.

The reckless, thieving Jem Merlyn can hardly be called a 'hero'. After all, he is the brother of Joss, the evil landlord of Jamaica Inn. But, in Daphne du Maurier's dark novel about Cornish wreckers, published in 1936, though set in the nineteenth century, he provides romance and might just provide salvation, if only he can be trusted. 
Like many of my favourite fictional characters, I have yet to find a screen portrayal which I feel fully captures the way I see him in my head. 
The closest I have found was by Trevor Eve back in 1983. 

If Jem came to dinner, I would take something traditionally Cornish, and add a bit of spice. Quite appropriate, I think. 

SPICY SAUSAGE PASTIES

serves 2

200g ready-made shortcrust pastry

3 veggie sausages (e.g. Quorn), defrosted if frozen

1 medium onion, chopped

2tbsp chilli sauce

Splash of milk

1tbsp olive oil

Heat the oil and cook the sausages until brown.

Remove them from the pan and chop into small pieces.

Heat the remaining oil in the same pan and fry the onion until soft and golden.

Turn off the heat and return the sausage to the pan. Add the chilli sauce and mix well.

Allow to cool.

Divide the pastry in two and roll out each piece into a circle.

Place the mixture on one half of each.

Place a little milk around the edge, fold over and crimp the edges.
Place on baking paper on a tray and coat with a little milk.

Cook at Gas 8/ 230°C/ 450°F for about 10 minutes. Then turn oven down to Gas 6/ 200°C/ 400°F and cook for 20 minutes more.