Walter Matthau gave superb performances in The Fortune Cookie, JFK and The Taking of Pelham One Two Three. My favourite, however, is The Odd Couple where his portrayal of Oscar is perfectly complemented by Jack Lemmon's Felix.
Here, at a card party he is serving refreshments:-
Oscar: Who wants food? I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What’s the green?
Oscar: It’s either very new cheese or very old meat.
Murray: I’ll take the brown.
I would make him this veggie version of a classic, so that he could enjoy a really tasty sandwich.
Serves 1 (but can easily be multiplied to serve more)
3 rashers vegetarian bacon
3 slices bread
3 tbsp mayonnaise
4 large crisp lettuce leaves
2 Quorn turkey-style slices
1 tomato, sliced thinly
salt and black paper
If bread is very soft it will be better toasted. If so, do this first.
Spread one side of each slice with mayonnaise.
Arrange two lettuce leaves on one slice of bread and season.
Place two turkey-style slices on top of the lettuce.
Top with another slice of bread, mayonnaise side up.
Arrange remaining lettuce leaves on top and add tomato slices.
Fry 'bacon' rashers.
Cut ‘bacon’ rashers to fit and place on top of tomato.
Cover with final slices of bread, mayonnaise side down.
Cut in half and pierce with long toothpicks to keep it all together.