Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guest - LORD BYRON

So, here he is: NUMBER ONE DINNER GUEST…

George Gordon, Lord Byron

Why? Well, where do I start?

What about here with an example of one of his wonderful poems:

So, We’ll Go No More A Roving

So, we'll go no more a roving

So late into the night,

Though the heart be still as loving,

And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,

And the soul wears out the breast,

And the heart must pause to breathe,

And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,

And the day returns too soon,

Yet we'll go no more a roving

By the light of the moon.

Or, maybe, because his heart is buried just down the road from Zelda, in Hucknall...

...near his beautiful ancestral home, Newstead Abbey (where Zelda can be seen with friends Stuie and John and Roxi).

Or, for the fact that he wrote the best epitaph to a pet, ever seen.

Or, perhaps, because he looked like this:

According to BBC History: At Cambridge University, his horror of being fat led to a shockingly strict diet, partly to get thin and partly to keep his mind sharp. Existing on biscuits and soda water or potatoes drenched in vinegar, he wore woolly layers to sweat off the pounds and measured himself obsessively. Then he binged on huge meals, finishing off with a necessarily large dose of magnesia.

So, should I give him a fat-free, low calorie meal or something he could binge on?  

I have decided that we will eat Potato Biscuits to assuage his guilt and then drink red wine from a skull and plan a revolution.

Potato Biscuits

120g plain flour

2tsp baking powder

60g butter melted

150g mashed potato (If using leftover mash, warm through before using)

240ml buttermilk

salt and pepper to taste

Cut greaseproof paper to size and place on a baking tray.

Sift the flour and baking powder into a large mixing bowl.

Add the melted butter, mashed potato and buttermilk 

and mix well until a soft dough has formed which does not stick to the sides. (Add more flour if needed.)

Place on a floured surface and roll out into a rough square, about 1cm thick. 

Cut into circles (Zelda uses a beer glass)...

...and place each on the baking tray.

Bake at Gas 5/ 190°C/ 375°F for 18 to 20 minutes, until golden brown.
These are lovely just as they are. (Hopefully His Lordship will think so, too)
If you fancy keeping some for later, chill and fry in oil. 

Great with a cooked breakfast – Byron still invited!

Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guest - SIMON LE BON

In March 1983, Rio earned Duran Duran their first Gold Album award. 

Now 35 years – yes, 35 years – later, Zelda would like to invite Simon le Bon for a meal.

 

Inspired by a lyric from the title track of Rio, Zelda is delighted to serve...

CHERRY ICE CREAM SMILE

Serves 4 (but can easily be reduced to serve fewer or multiplied to serve more).

8 chocolate brownies (home made is definitely best - see below)

260g tin of cherries in syrup

300ml double cream

100g more dark chocolate

1 tub of cherry ice cream (Make it from scratch if you want, but Zelda sees no need to go to all that trouble.)
N.B. Check whether the cherries have stones in and remove them if they do. 

Start by making the brownies: (For quickness, you can skip this step and buy ready-made if you want, but home-made treats add a special something. See here for the recipe.)

Then assemble the dish:

When ready to serve, take four individual bowls or glasses.
Place 2 cherries at the bottom of each bowl.

Add a few crumbs from the brownies.

Then spoon a bit of the juice over the top.
Add a scoop of ice cream. (Don't worry if the glass looks mucky; you can clean it up at the end.)

Whip the cream until it forms soft peaks...

...then layer it over the rest.
Grate the final 100g of dark chocolate and sprinkle it over.

Finish with a cherry.

Unfortunately, Simon couldn't come today, but Dave and Stuie gave it a whirl.

Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guest – BOBBY FARRELL

Roberto Alphonse Farrell was born in Aruba in 1949. He later moved to Germany and was chosen to be part of Boney M (although, it now transpires, he sang on few of the studio tracks).

However, Farrell, came into his own in live (or mimed) performances.

Boney M had a string of ‘cheesy’ hits in the 1970s, perhaps the best known of which is Rasputin, a very groovy if factually incorrect retelling of the life of the Russian monk.

Rasputin died on 30^th January, 1916 in St. Petersburg. In 2010, Farrell died in the same city, also on January 30^th. Spooky?

Let’s just look at the Top of the Pops performance of Rasputin…

So, let Zelda turn the clock back and have Bobby for a cheesy 70’s dinner.

70’s STYLE CRISPY PANCAKES

Serves 4

(This makes the standard 'cheesy filling'. You can add other fillings if required.)

For the batter:

125g plain flour

1 egg

Pinch of salt
250ml milk
For the filling:

200g soft cheese
4tbsp milk

150g cheddar cheese, grated
salt and pepper
(+ other items if required)
For assembly and cooking:
4tbsp oil
2 eggs
100g fine golden breadcrumbs (shop-bought work best)

Begin by making the batter

Sift the flour and salt into a bowl.

Make a well and crack in one of the eggs. Then add the milk, whisking to incorporate a bit at a time. Allow the batter to sit for 30 minutes if possible.

Make the pancakes

Heat a little of the oil in a small pan.

Pour in ¼ of the mixture (about a ladleful).

Cook until golden, flipping when ready to cook the other side.

Transfer to a plate.

Repeat until all cooked.

Then make the filling:

Place the cream cheese in a small pan and heat slowly.

Add the cheese and black pepper and stir until you have a thick sauce.

(At this point you can mix in any other cooked ingredients you require, e.g. spring onions or vegetarian bacon pieces.)

Assemble the pancakes:

Take a pancake and lay it flat. Spoon ¼ of the cheese mixture into the centre.

Fold in half and press the edges to seal. (If it does not seal easily, use a little of the remaining egg.)

Repeat with the rest of the pancakes and mixture.

Place the breadcrumbs on a plate and whisk the remaining 2 eggs in a shallow bowl.

Coat each pancake in the beaten egg and then in the breadcrumbs. Repeat if necessary.

Heat the rest of the oil in a pan and fry each filled pancake for 2-3 minutes, turning halfway through, until golden.

Then place on a baking tray covered with greaseproof paper

Cook in oven for about 10 minutes at Gas 6/ 200°C/ 400°F. 
Then turn each one over and cook for a further 10 minutes.

You should now have lovely crispy pancakes which remind you of the packaged convenience food of the 1970s, but will be much better for you! 

Bobby and I will eat ours with some sweetcorn and spring onions. 

SODA BREAD

500g wholemeal plain flour

2tsp salt

1tsp bicarbonate of soda

400ml whole milk

1 lemon

2tsp honey

Mix the flour and salt with the bicarbonate of soda.

Squeeze the juice from the lemon into the milk. (This will turn it into buttermilk.) Stir the honey onto this.

Pour the liquid into the dry mixture and stir well to make a sticky dough.

Flour the work surface and tip out the dough. 

With floured hands, shape it onto a rough ball.

Put flour on a baking tray and transfer the dough onto it. Then, with a large sharp knife, make a deep cross on the top.

Bake in the oven at Gas 6/ 200°C/ 390°F for 35 – 40 minutes.

Allow to cool on a wire rack.

Then slice.

Fantasy Veggie Dinner Guest - MR TOAD

After various shenanigans concerning the theft of a motor car, Toad is sent to ‘a dank and noisome dungeon’ where he petulantly refuses to eat. Luckily for him, the gaoler’s daughter takes pity on him and decides to tempt him with some Bubble and Squeak.

'Now, cheer up, Toad,' she said, coaxingly, on entering, 'and sit up and dry your eyes and be a sensible animal. And do try and eat a bit of dinner. See, I've brought you some of mine, hot from the oven!'

It was bubble-and-squeak, between two plates, and its fragrance filled the narrow cell. The penetrating smell of cabbage reached the nose of Toad as he lay prostrate in his misery on the floor, and gave him the idea for a moment that perhaps life was not such a blank and desperate thing as he had imagined…

So if Mr Toad came to Zelda's, she hopes she could inspire him again. These individual cakes are a bit more 'refined' but I hope that would appeal to his arrogance, too.

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK CAKES       

                                

Left-over cooked potatoes, mashed.

Cooked cabbage, chopped

(You need an approximate ratio of 2 potato: 1 cabbage)

I onion, chopped

Salt and black pepper

1- 2tbsp plain flour

3tbsp olive oil.

Place the mashed potato and cabbage together in a bowl.

Heat 1tbsp of the oil and fry the onion until lightly browned.

Add to the potato mixture. Mix well and season 

Shape into cakes.

Put the flour on a plate and coat each cake.

Heat the rest of the oil and add the cakes.

Cook all until browned on each side and heated through. (I usually do two at a time but you can do four in a large enough pan.)

Drain on absorbent paper if needed.  

Serve hot.